The House Bunny

Hot Damn Shabuya! The House Bunny is possibly the funnies movie I have seen in 1.8 decades. And it is definitely the funniest movie of the summer. I was laughing so hard I had to make TWO emergency trips to the bathroom, all the while dying inside, knowing I was probably missing another moment of hilarity. The fact of the matter is I am a sucker for a makeover montage no matter how crappy the movie that contains it is, or really any montage for that matter. And this movie had two mass makeovers and one individual makeover. perfection.

The plot is brings a fresh take on the classic lame sorority/fraternity makeover storyline, and the actors are spot on. I don't want to give anything away but I am absolutely cooing with joy over how much this movie made me happy. Anna Faris was spot on, and Emma Stone is a delightful young comedian in the making. This movie had quirk, sex, and was just plain fun. Don't listen to the credits, sometimes a movie is just mean to be fun and boy was the house bunny Ever that. I'd prefer to leave a movie feeling as i did today with a skip in my step and joy in my heart than to leave a critically acclaimed thinker that was more of clunker. Of course that being said the best movies are usually smart and complex and have a fair measure of grit, but that is not the only formula for a winner, as the House Bunny clearly proves.

Now Seriosuly Stop reading this, go out, see the movie, and then comment about how much you agree with me.

I'll leave you with my personal favorite quote (chosen from many formidable quips)

"The eyes are the nipples of the face"

My first comment, Smoke, and Mirrors.

I am thrilled to report that I received my first comment on my project runway post. This is a big deal to me especially because it comes from a source that I did not refer to my little corner of the web. The implication being that I am not so deeply hidden within cyberspace as I had previously thought. This is fantastic. The author of said comment is the author of the blog, DAVID DUST, a blog dealing with "hotties, recaps, and gay stuff". I've given it a quick look over and I'm glad to see that my blog generated at least a small bit of interest. Thanks for the comment David and keep them coming even if they are a bit self promoting.

As for the events of my Day, I was originally scheduled to go to Universal Studios Orlando with my dad as last father son day before I go to college. (I head to Vassar in 3 days!), but unfortunately that bitch Fey (as in the Hurricane) decided to hover over Orlando and close the park. Taking this in stride, I set about sleeping in until 1:30 PM. I have to enjoy what's left of summer and get some sleep which I predict will be elusive in days to come. Once I surfaced from my slumber I called some friends to see what they were doing, and met at my friend Adam's house to watch COPS reruns. This was followed by a trip to the arabic food store to buy self ignighting coals for my hookah, and some arabic goodies.

I have a pronounced weakness for arabic food. despite my Jewish heritage, my best friend in the entire universe is Muslim, and as a result I love love love the food that her mom makes. This was some emotional, but not excessive eating as she has already left for college and we were practically attached at the hip throughout the summer.

After this errand I had Adam over to smoke hookah, watch arrested development, and watch the season finale of America's Best Dance Crew. Adam is also my most avid reader so I give him mad props for that.

All this is followed by some self appraisal in the mirror. I am slightly less than content with what I see, but it will do. Seeing as getting hot for college has been a failure, I will revise my goal to be hot for my next homecoming. Wish me luck.

Last but not Least but not so Great Either

Kenley and Farrah Moans

Kenley is a moderately talented designer who is very very annoying. Her saving grace is that she knows better than to put something radically inappropriate, or radically ugly on the runway. However her bag of tricks is limited and her aesthetic is tired. Also her personality is atrocious she is the type of girl who acts bubbly and sweet and unique, but under it all she is a self centered bitch with an absence of morals. She laughed off the idea of lending her supposed best friend a bra to make his dress, she laughed at that same supposed friend as he defended himself on the runway in the previous episode. Overall she's an epic failure of a human being. I guess she's my least favorite designer of the season. Interesting.

This dress is tolerable. it's nothing special. It's hardly innovative, and it's not very attractive. A silver sequined gown is hardly exciting and hardly drag. The feathers are the show piece and they are bleh. This look is bleh and even thinking about Kenley makes me angry. I hate her.

She said She wanted Bling, so I gave her Fringe

Keith and Sherry Vine

Keith is a talentless hack. I really don't like this guy. He's cocky, annoying, and just off putting. The only reason he won a challenge was because he had Kenley to execute his garment, and the judges were on acid. The sooner he goes the better.

His first act of annoyance this episode was him growling at his model's legs. Keith is a gay man and although there were men underneath the women in this episode, Keith was clearly playing up his machismo which was futile and unnecessary, especially in this competition. Actually, it seemed like all the designers had something to prove in the way they interacted with the drag queens. We know these are LGBT friendly people they don't need to go overboard!

His second act of annoyance came when he said "My model wanted bling so I'm giving her this great fringe" WTF? How is this drab fringe blingin' in any way? Sherry Vine wanted Las Vegas but she got a dead Ostrich. If only last night could have been a double elimination. Keith, your days are numbered.

Joe and Varla Jean Merman

So far, Joe has been nothing special. Definitely an able designer but not extraordinary, that is, until last night. Although his Olympic offering showed promise last nights look was on an entirely different level.

The color was perfect, the fit, the cut, and the styling was also perfect. And Varla looked thrilled. There's almost not much to say because perfect pretty much sums this look up. If nothing else Joe is good at sticking to the task at hand, and although he pretended to shy away from the drag at first (in order to preserve is hetero status) he clearly sunk his teeth into this challenge. The was clearly the winning Outfit, and for the first time this season, the judges got it right.

I still can't see Joe going to Bryant Park, but this definitely helps his cause.

Further more, Varla is great looking as both a male and a female. Now that's impressive.

LeMAYbe

Jerell and LeMAY

Jerell has thus far been a lackluster contestant. Nothing great, but nothing superb either. I personally credit most of his Lipstick Jungle success to Stella, but I may be slightly biased in her favor. I don't see him lasting much longer than 3 more episodes, and that's if he's lucky. I think He, Keith, Blayne, and Suede will be the next four out in no particular order.

As For LeMAY she was pretty, but not typical drag. This is not a bad thing and Daniel's dress would have actually suited her persona. I don't think it's fair that the judges expected Jerell to make an over the top queen's outfit for the most subtle queen on the runway. The color of the dress was wrong and definitley had a dour look. The fringe did look cheap and the collar was wrong, ruffly and unsuccessful. Also Jerell was definitely loving on himself a little too much. One look around the room should have been enough to tell him that he wasn't revolutionary.

the make is adequate, and Jerell had good intentions. He got tripped up trying to marry the drag aesthetic with LeMAY's. He should have gone full out either one way or the other, something he hasn't had trouble doing in the past. That said, I'm glad he's still in and this probably shouldn't have been bottom three.

Annida Break!

Daniel and Annida Greenkard

How the HELL did Daniel even make it this far in the competition?! It's even more outrageous than Ricky's overdrawn tenure. Daniel has produced near shit for every challenge except the first one, and even that offering was a pretty little cocktail dress.

Anidda Greenkard was screaming for a ruffled sequined period masterpiece, and all she got was a pretty little dress in mildly garish colors. This look was so off the mark (as have been Daniel's previous entries) that It's almost unjudgable within the context of this challenge. The woman from the shoulder up doesn't match the woman from the shoulders down. This dress is just not right in any way and the basic form is to retail to even merit talk of embelishment. This was an epic fail, and I am simply sad to see Daniel go.

Here's some musings: How brilliant would it have been for Daniel to be eliminated last week (leaving Kelli in) and then she could have worked something fierce out for a queen which I am sure she is capable of, and then Keith could have gone home this week! That would be runway justice.

Quick Break

I might Just need to make a project Runway Blog Because this is FUN! and a hell of a lot more motivating than losing weight haha! Carry On.

A Match Made in Neon Heaven

Blayne and Miss Understood

If there ever was a challenge tailored to Blayne's aesthetic, it was tonight's. And did Blayne ever pick the right Queen to do the job. So far Blayne has been meh in my mind. His first offering was hideous and beyond comment. His second was adequate, and His third was worse than that which was eliminated especially in the construction aspect. The Olympic Challenge is where I began to have hope for Blayne and I thought his outfit was sporty and chic. His Brooke Sheilds outfit was wrong for the challenge but not elimination worthy, and tonight was scrumptious.

The colors were perfect dazzling and exquisite. I loved the mix of neon sparkle and black to make it pop. The wings and streamers were interesting and dynamic, and it is a shame that they didn't hold up on the runway. I can't quite put my finger on how this can be improved, but the bodice is very simple in shape and could even be worn by a very outgoing woman to a social event. Maybe some cone boobs would have upped the drag factor. Blayne did great work and as I look at this I wonder if his look had more polish than Korto's because he seems to have equally realized the drag vision.

She Got It!

Korto and Sweetie

Korto. So far she has come off as a serious contender for a spot at Bryant Park. Her strong first challenge offering probably deserved the win. Her second look was not so bad especially when compared to the atrocities committed by Leanne and Wesley. Her City look was interesting despite its simplicity and lack of luster. Her Olympic look although not win worthy was stylish and chic. Her Lipstick Jungle Offering was unique, striking, inappropriate for the challenge, and therefore not worthy of recognition. And then Tonight BAM! the ONLY contestant who truly understood drag.

I could live without her attitude and sometimes she comes off smug and slightly uneducated. Such as when she says she doesn't design for drag queens. Although she didn't resist the challenge that comment was unnecessary. None of these designers are aspiring Drag costumers we know you don't do drag in your spare time so stop trying to defend your design "cred". Also her almost always gloomy attitude is off putting.

As for the garment, the bitch nailed it! Sweetie wasn't as sweet as her name suggested, and her initial appearance came off a little amateur drag, but did she ever look the part of a fierce as hell dragalicious (shit i used an icious) ball of fire. The sequins were a must and were an obvious plus. The artistic detailing was well structured, well planned, and interesting, and the detachable skirt gave impact and a show, and isn't that what drag queens are going for? This would and should have won if only Joe's outfit hadn't been so undeniably and almost supernaturally perfect for his client.

Clunking Down the Catwalk

Stella and Louisa Verde

Stella has quickly become one of my favorites of the season. I can't see her making it Bryant Park, but I expect her to at least make 6th. I do however think that her Bryant Park offerings would be exquisitely Stella. And by that I mean well made, not exactly to my taste, fun, and coming from a genuine place. It's the genuine nature of Stella that makes her so likable. Sure this is the same quality which made her repulsive for the first two episodes it is clear that she is not an act or a novelty. She is a serious and talented designer with a strong point of view. Her City inspiration outfit was chic and fit in perfectly with the night life of certain sub cultures and her Olympic outfit was top three material. And obviously her collaboration with Jerrel was robbed of the win.

Ok, lets probe.

First off, Louisa Verde was hands down the most dowdy and flat out ugly queen available. It was clear that she'd be last pick and I would have felt bad for any designer who had to work with her (except maybe Keith and Kenley). And oof! what a mug! Beyond that, Her signature style was frumpy and was hardly inspiring. I commend Stella for meeting the challenge with such a positive attitude.

As for the dress, it's a bit too modest, a bit too elvira, a bit too tartan, and simply not fabulous. This offering is part of what made this episode disappointing. And I have to come down on Stella for not pushing the envelope more on this one. If there was EVER a time for Leathuh it was tonight, and Stella really could have gone in a raw S&M direction. Oh well At least she's here for next week. Although this outfit probably should have been bottom three instead of Jerrel.

That Bitch Stole Stella's Queen

Before I even talk about this design, I have to explain a few things. First, the reason all this Prunway stuff wasn't covered in one post is because the only way I can figure out how to move pictures is to Drag them Manually and that becomes a pain, and Second, I so disparately wanted Stella to work with Sharon Needles (or at least Acid Betty). This Queen would have fit into Stella's aesthetic like a glove. It's a shame that Stella got stuck with the clunker of the bunch.

Leanne and Sharon Needles

I can't blame Leanne for picking Sharon, Nor is she radically out of Leanne's Aesthetic, but as I said before I am so upset that Stella had last pick.

Nothing is necessarily WRONG with this look, but nothing is off the charts either. As I have come to expect from Leanne, It is well made but it lacks that umphy drag factor. It shines but it doesn't sparkle.The skirt and shoulders aren't as full large and in your face as they could be. Lights or sequins or some form of bling could have helped kick the outfit up a notch. Or maybe even a Some cosmic tulle exploding from the seams.

This look is more than worthy of keeping Leanne in the game, but it's a far cry from the true soul of drag.

Darker Colored Silhouettes

Hallelujah Daniel was Aufed on Project Runway tonight!! I am a pretty gigantic runway fan and have been reading a few Prunway blogs lately. ( projectrungay.blogspot.com is a must must must see) So going on with that, I decided I'd try my hand at Project Runway blogging at least for just tonight. And is no one else appalled that Daniel said darker colored silhouettes!? Silhouettes are SHAPES not COLORS. I would expect someone with such impeccable taste to know better.

So tonight was 5 seasons in the making... The DRAG QUEEN CHALLENGE!!! I have thought that this would be the making of reality television goodness since the first episode of season 1. my only qualm is that I wish it would have come sooner. Season 4's designers were of a higher caliber all around compared to this season's designers and I can only begin to imagine what sort of a masterpiece Chris March would have worked out. ( I can also only imagine how pissed he is that the closest he got to his sistah's was female wrestlers) That being said It is what it is, and I hope that this challenge is resurrected in a future season.

First off, the introduction of the queens. Honestly, I was somewhat underwhelmed. I would have preferred to see at least one black queen because they just hit a note that was decidedly missing last night. My early favorite was Varla I thought her sense of humor was very on par. And now to examine the offerings.

Terri and Acid Betty

Terri has been one of my favorites so far this season. Tonight, however, she disappointed me. Although I can't say color is her strongest facet, she has thus far demonstrated a fair amount of ability when it comes to choosing a palette for her designs. This however looks like it was torn from a drag queen coloring book. Flat white would have worked for a Queen like Farrah Moans. Acid Betty on the other hand could have worked white on a dress that has a less elegant silhouette, and that only incorporated the colors of her face paint.

Color Aside, The design oozes with potential. I loved the drama of the sleeves when Acid Betty walked the catwalk with her arms outstretched, and the corset as an obi substitute was an inspired and logical decision. I can't say I'm crazy about the undershirt thing and the yellow was jarring especially on those fringe dangles. Drag is over the top but clean simple and dramatic would have complimented all the craziness that Acid Betty works above the shoulders.

Ultimately this did not deserve top three, but was definitely good enough to keep Terri in the game.

Suede and Hedda Lettuce

Ok. So far Suede has been unimpressive to me. Sure his frozen pizza dress won the green challenge, but even it wasn't of the taste or quality that is deserving of a project runway win. Suede is competent but his days on the show are numbered, but I think he'll out live Keith.

As for Hedda, Bitch was definitely trying to score some reality diva spotlight! I can't say I'm surprised but she made a room full of drag queens seem demure and subtle (and not because of styling choices).

My first opinion of this outfit is that it looks strikingly similar too, but worse than her original outfit. Luckily there was some worse shit on that catwalk, because I think suede's copycat approach was a big no no. Why not leap and twirl out of the box on this challenge?

The jacket did look reptilian and not in a chic or impressive way, and the cocktail dress underneath was neither drag nor particularly striking. I did think that the heads of lettuce adorning the outfit were ingenious conceptually but in reality they were little more than a tolerable embellishment. Also I cal for a DQ designers should not be receiving outside help on their garments even when it's from their deceased grandfathers miraculously returned from beyond. Suede is different.

Finally, Hedda's runway walk was embarrassing.

Weight loss is tough and I'm totally unopposed to surgical intervention.

And now, here I am feeling very motivated. Alright I will at least list off my Consumptions for the day. Oh, and to my credit I have been good about my pimple medicine (not that it's doing much good) and about brushing and flossing. My mouth feels clean but my teeth will be forever yellow I'm afraid, and I'm not even a coffee drinker! UGH!

Ok, i started the day with a perfectly measured, just for fun, bowl of 3/4 cups of frutti pebbles and a 1/2 cup of skim milk. This was followed by A dinner of Some baked Brie on Bread with apple slices, and 1/2 lb. of Crab Claws with some veggies. Yum! I also caved at my friend Lisa's and went for two cans of root beer despite my lack of soda drinking of late, and a Macdonald's snack wrap and half of a medium fries.

All told it's not grossly caloric, but not overly impressive either. Oh well another day, another endeavor.

Which reminds me, I'm scheduled for clothes shopping tomorrow. Never a fun activity for a fat ass. Oh well I am the consequence of my actions (or lack thereof) and I have to dress the body I've earned.

Speaking of clothes, I just found a blog called project rungay which is a commentary on every garment in every episode of project runway to date! It's fantastically entertaining for even the casual runway fan so I highly recommend that you go and check it out.

On the topic of recent obsessions I am entirely entrenched in Doctor Who! What a brilliant show! It satisfies my thirst for science fiction and is intriguing and mystifying and entertaining. I love every twist and turn and all of the characters are tons of fun.

Ok well that's really all I have in me. What a nice little blogging session. I keep forgetting that I actually enjoy this.

Music and Lyrics

First off, Isn't the title of this post's namesake just an incredible cinematic achievement? I'm serious I did some serious loving on that movie. and now onto the unpleasant part.
Well, as much as I wanted this to be a motivation tool, I guess motivation can only come from within. I have done just about nothing in accordance with my initial goals, but oh, well I'm only 18 and that all can change. For tonight though, I think I will simply ramble on about this and that and have a nice therapeutic typing session.

Part one, Pet Peeves. Or rather, Pet Peeve. I absolutely hate when people say they like music for the lyrics. Phrases such as "I love songs with a message" or "These lyrics have so much depth/meaning/are so deep etc..." drive me absolutely insane. Music is first and foremost just that, an auditory experience. A song is meant to SOUND good. It is supposed to make you wiggle your hips and tap your toe. Interesting lyrics can complement an already enjoyable tune, but should never be the defining feature in one's musical preference. I'm looking for a good message when I read, but when I listen to music I'm looking for a feeling conveyed through rhythm and tone and pitch. Besides words are nice but ultimately the true appeal of music lies in it's ability to craft emotion with sound. Can a Smell be happy? Can a touch? A taste?

Think of your favorite Christmas Song, How does it make you feel? nostalgic? cozy? joyful? warm? Hell, I'm Jewish and Christmas music evokes a definitive feeling along with images from the holiday moment of childhood. Now, do lyrics that create these feelings or does the recognizable melody? Case and point. So all the weepy morons who listen to songs for the lyrics can suck it!

That's kind of all that I have in me for now so I'm off to listen to some new music I just downloaded. The lyrics are incredible!

Gluttony

Well, Today was a complete and total failure. By the way, I'm pretty tired so I hope to keep this brief, and It may end up just being a simple overview of todays eating habits.

I woke up to a bowl of rice crispies and milk and devoured it as usual. Then I nibbled on my packed lunch of pretzel crisps and Kellogg's bars. Next I had my mom sign me out of school and went with Gaby to Starbucks. I was about to purchase a delicious grapefruit flavored Ize Soda when I remembered this blog. As I reached for the ethos water Gaby mentioned that she felt bad suggesting starbucks for me to not be able to order anything, so I ordered an unsweetened Green tea-lemonade. I still felt good at this point, but that too shall pass.

A Keva Juice just opened locally and I love that stuff! So naturally that was my next destination and I ordered a 332 calorie 24 oz Pineapple Splash smoothie. Felling guilty, I decided that this would be my lunch. Of course this notion was shattered after I spoke to Alex and we decided to meet for chinese food which was followed by yet more Keva juice. Then for Dinner the Salzbergs treated me to a great meal which despite its decadence pushed my diet further into oblivion.

At Diner Alex and I shared Wild Mushroom Bread Pudding, Rocket Salad, A Chevre Tart dish, Lobster Johnny Cakes, and A Delicious Duck Entree. The food was amazing and it was topped off my Smores and a Lavender Blueberry cobbler which literally blossomed in my mouth.

All failures accounted for, I am very sleepy so I will end this particularly unsatisfying post and go to bed

The Continuation

I felt I needed to break that last post up a bit, but I'm ready to continue. Before i do however, I will share that I just re-read some of my older posts and was reminded of my initial plan for weight loss. DAMN that seems even more daunting now than it did then, but it's also somewhat motivating.

Ok. Gaby and I had a delicious lunch, and then we headed to the local newspaper's main building where we will both be doing our senior internships. I made the mistake of telling my "mentor" of sorts that I had a mild interest in politics. Now he thinks I'm a political guru with a burning desire to blog about my political views UGH! This guy is a bit off and I do not look forward to dealing with him misunderstanding or rather failing to understand me in the future. At least the thing will only last 10 days (minus two for a weekend) and I won't be working directly under him. Anyway, Gaby picked up her papers for urinalysis and we headed out for Labcorp.

The following drive involved a run in with an Italian man, a tailgating driver, and ultimate failure in finding an open and equipped Labcorp despite the many that were listed in the area as meeting our needs. Although these anecdotes are amusing i can feel my writing focus and ability dwindling and I'd rather them be at their best then mediocre.

As for my health plan I have currently stuck to my acne pills, but little else. After posting this post I think I'll set my alarm for an early time and maybe go for a nice morning job. Hopefully i keep up with this blog a bit better the second time around. Here's to hoping!

It's been a while

Wow! It's been a long ass time since I last posted. Sorry about that, although I doubt I've retained any readers with my 3 currently standing posts.

Anyway, I'd like to start this off by wishing my most Loyal reader, Adam Montgomery, a Happy Birthday shout out! I would like to thank him for all of his support and positive comments despite his introduction of caloric beverages into my system. I'd prefer not to have to recount the events of the past few months, but my hiatus has been a result of lacking motivation, homework, and a general aversion to blogging. With that out of the way, I will hopefully resume this blog and with luck I will keep it going for more than three days this time.

Today was quite a day. I woke up from a long and restful slumber at about 7:45 AM knowing damn well that I didn't have to be in school until 10:30. To think what one could do with all that free time. Write an essay perhaps? Well, that is exactly what I did. I had to construct a 5-7 (which of course means 5) page paper on Ralph Ellison's "Invisible Man". The book was decent and certainly powerful and relevant, but also boring and troublesome. The resulting essay was a steaming pile of shit but at least I'll be turning in something, and I'll probably get a B+ regardless. Anyway, at around 9:45 I pulled myself out of bed and completed my morning routine.

Oh, here's a fun anecdote. I can't swallow pills. Something in my mind is like "no way motha' fucker that shit ain't food and it ain't goin' down this mother fucking gullet" or something to that extent. So I fool myself by chewing up some food, slipping the pill in my mouth and swallowing. i take a twice daily Minocycline capsule for my acne and often take the morning dose with a spoonful of cereal and milk. Well, this morning, to my great chagrin, I notice clearly printed on the label of my pill bottle, "Do Not Take With Food or Milk". Great.

Moving on, I went to school printed my essay and endured a particularly grueling session of AP Language and Composition during which the entire class attempted to seem like they had any inkling about what was going on in a book that we all haven't read despite the fact that we all assuredly failed the reading quiz given yesterday.

This transitioned into the deflating reveal of Mrs. Gaffney's absence. I love Calculus. I love it in any capacity, even when it takes up lunch time. I am a nerd. Thus Ms. Blowe's presence was upsetting. By the way, Caroline Blowe was looking quite lovely today. I think she may have trimmed her beard. Upgrade! Here's something that may surprise you about me. I have absolutely no interest in the show gossip girl. I love top model, I adore project runway, I watch the tyra show regularly, but Gossip Girl continues to do absolutely nothing for me. And of course, the conversation during Calculus was dominated by blather about that particular show. It clouded my mind and I couldn't focus on the Calculus and was considerably sour. On a happier note, a side conversation about Grand Theft Auto IV piqued my interest and I am currently contemplating making a foray into the territory of that franchise.

Finally as if by a divine act of god, The clouds parted, the sun shone upon the gritty Floridian soil and it was time for senior lunch, and today I was planning on getting Chinese food. Yum! Unfortunately some asshole took it upon himself to rob a bank on a Tuesday of all days, sending local public school into lock down, and of course we followed suit. This meant no lunch period. Lunch vouchers were passed out but the cafeteria is under supplied on Tuesdays as it expects all seniors to be out for lunch. This unfortunate situation was compounded by the abysmal quality of the hamburgers prepared for lunch this afternoon, the thought of which triggers my gag reflex. So with my stomach rumbling i prepared to face Physics the most dreaded class of the day.

Physics sucked. Physics sucks, I don't want to write about it. Nor will I

After Physics, I went to the front office to sign out of school as I only had Photography and I didn't feel like going to it given the current state of my day. When I called my mom, her hairdresser answered as she was getting a haircut. My mother is hearing impaired and wears hearing aids. Thus, while receiving a haircut, she removes her "ears" as moisture is involved in the hairdressing process. Of course the uber bitch, Alicia Petit (although no longer employed by the school) was brooding in the front office, and she challenged the validity of my call home because my mom's hairdresser was speaking on behalf of my mom. I insufficiently bitched her out but still got my point across. What I wouldn't give to really be able to tear into her (with my words). The woman needs to be institutionalized. Despite this hurdle I was inevitably freed from the binding roots of the banyan and made ready to dash away with Gaby Towards Cafe Epicure and Urinalysis. (ooh a cliffhanger)

Three's a Charm

Hello, faithful readers! Thank you for bearing with me and my habitual late night posting. Anyway, Today kicked off with a rousing wakeup call at 7AM. It was time to pack a small rucksack of books and games to keep me busy during our journey across Florida. I was less than thrilled to be up at such an ungodly hour and was a pretty big complainer once I found out that we were taking a detour to the beach to meet some old friends from New York. If you couldn't already guess by the nature of this blog, a beach day is very very low on my list of favorable day time activities. Already stressing about various instances of sandy embarrassment, my mood took a sour turn and sensing my discomfort, my parents allowed me to stay home while they went off to Boca.

After the morning's excitement, I settled into a nice long Mass Effect session. If you haven't already indulged, Mass Effect is a compelling and masterfully constructed example of what a game can be. The deep and enthralling story line coupled with smooth and challenging game play make for an exceptional gaming experience.

As far as food goes, I had half of a packet of weight management oatmeal which is surprisingly filling and held me over until diner. I ate diner at Leroy Selman's (yuck!) with my Nana and Poppy and ordered a grilled chicken breast with wild rice. Although I could taste that it wasn't prepared with ultimate health in mind, I felt comfortable with my decision.
Once again however, my social life got in the way of my hopes to excersize, as I had friends over after diner. We played a good deal of Guitar hero, and I slipped and drank a few caloric beverages. This was augmented by a trip to steak in shake where I ate a grilled cheese and a root beer float. At this point I am frustrated with myself for being so lax with myself, and for the influence that peer pressure has over my eating habits.

Now I look forward to a slightly uncomfortable night sleeping on the floor with my dog, because she can't go on the bed because she recently had undergone the equivalent of a doggy knee replacement. The poor thing can hardly get up to make pee-pee. Considering it is currently 3:21 AM I think I'll hit the hay, and tomorrow... Christmas Eve (What is a Jewish Boy on a Diet to Do?)

Step One, or Something like it

Well, today marks the first day of my intensive program. I am both excited and dismayed to share the results of my initial foray into the realm of health and happiness. The Day started successfully enough with a brush of the teeth a swallow of the mynocycline pill (to combat my acne), and a handful of rice crispies. I'm not a breakfast person, and never have been but I can't swallow pills, at least not with a liquid. Therefore, I have turned to slipping my pills into my chewed food in order to trick my body into accepting the foreign object. This is not the only trick I've pulled on my body today, nor shall it be the last.

After a successful morning, I headed out to meet my friend, Olivia, for a midday movie. We saw Sweeney Todd which I was particularly excited for, because one of the songs I sing with my voice teacher is from that musical, and I really wanted to see it in action. In keeping with my above average levels of egotism I feel I out sang the twelve year old who sang my song, but talent is a subjective evaluation. Regardless, My greatest triumph however, was my complete neglect of the snack counter. Not one kernel of popcorn, not one M&M, and not a sip of soda met my lips nor my digestive system. This small triumph put my mind in a good place throughout the movie and for a good portion of the rest of my day.

My time with Olivia transitioned into a meeting with another friend, Alex who tempted my to nibble on one foot of a ginger bread man. We went to pick up our other amigo, Adam, and proceeded to go out for sushi. Sushi is, in my opinion, the most wonderful, satisfying meals on the planet, and its healthy to boot! With an Easy dinner ahead of me I indulged in some miso soup, a green salad, and a tekka-don YUM! For those of you unfamiliar with delectable Japanese cuisine, a tekka-don is a bowl of raw tuna on top of sushi rice. Overall, Dinner was completely in keeping with my diet and surprisingly, I felt satisfied. I was glad that I could keep to a diet and not feel like I was missing out on the world.

Unfortunately, I succumbed to some caloric beverages later in the evening and had two slices of pizza at a late night Italian bistro. This diversion from the master plan coupled with my prioritizing of my social life over my work out schedule puts essentially back at ground zero. At least there is no where to go but up! Now I stumble home at around 2AM and I am proud to say that I have taken the time to take my medicine and brush my teeth! Despite my pride I am still filled with dread by the knowledge of my trip to Boca Raton, not only does this translate in Spanish to Rat's Mouth, but it is also essentially an elephant graveyard for elderly Jewish people. As always, this visit to my father's parents will be less than thrilling and there will be little reward to be had for enduring the endless droning of the elderly. I become effervescent at just the thought of being engulfed by such a world of impatience and rudeness. Here's to hoping I'll find greater success in the events of tomorrow.